Date: 2009-06-19 04:29 am (UTC)
As a woman, I understand your points. They're valid and they are what common sense and society tells us to do.

The point of cereta's post was to remind us that telling women "here's how to avoid being the victim" doesn't really discourage the perpetrators. Both genders do need to work together to prevent rape. But, currently, most of 'rape prevention' is telling women, 'avoid getting raped' by following some guidelines- that sorta work, most the time, against stranger rape- when most rapes are acquaintance rape.

It also was a call for the men who are out there, keeping people safe to stand up and be counted, to be recognized.

Many of the stories illustrate how someone stepped up- showing appropriate behaviors and way to alleviate risk in non-offensive manners. Sadly, some of the stories were about the other guy- the one who didn't get stopped- and they're examples to- of what not to do and what to watch out for.

And don't even get me started on the concept of 'cocktease'. I know far too many women who have done stuff sexually that they were not comfortable with because of this. They hang out with a guy, or maybe flirt with him, or maybe go on a date with him. The woman thinks they're just having fun. Then, she realizes that he's expecting sex. And that he might think she's been angling for it, because that's what's on his mind. And she realizes her behavior could be classified as leading him on- when all she was doing was being friendly- because that's all most guy's need. So, she goes along with it, because she feels guilty for 'promising' something she never intended. Because no one wants to be called a cocktease.
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July 2011

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